You did not even notice when it started. The inner voice was sort of always there! As soon as you wake up, the familiar thoughts start. You go about your day and the chatter continues. The voices keep you awake when you falling a sleep at night and in your dreams it haunts you. 

The thoughts we think every day is mostly negative, fears, doubts and self loathing. The voice is always there to worry about tomorrow and punishing you for everything that you did wrong during the day. Do you recognize them? Those cozy and familiar thoughts you know so well and got so attached to so that you call them “mine”? 

But what if I told you these thoughts are not even yours?

The fact is, the “You” that is reading this right now has the ability to identify and remember these thoughts, is actually not the “You” that is thinking inside of you. Actually, if you stop to notice, these thoughts you call mine, is actually presented to your brain, about one second, before you noticed them. 

We are not thinking, we are being thought! 

Here is the wild realization, what is going on in our mind is more like brain abuse by a part of us that is constantly on and awake to keep us consuming thoughts that has been recorded in the past, sometimes decades before today and you getting force-fed this garbage that you did not even choose, everyday, breakfast lunch and dinner, and you call it reality! Thought rape really!

In the First rule of men, we are supporting men to create their dream lifes. We meet men every day who is tormented by their own thoughts, while being convinced that every single part of their mental horror show is objective reality. In this article we will explore how to break free of your mental prison and start choosing what to think and create your own unique and inspiring thoughts! 

The Parasite Within

Let me introduce to you, “The Resistance”. This is the primal part of your brain designed for survival. It never shuts down and are there to protect us. It wakes us up when there is an unusual noise at night and make us avoid dangers, sometimes in a way that we are not even aware of. This ancient section of your brain has the power to take over when you get angry, tired, scared or overloaded with information. It will make you fight, run or freeze and is shared with reptiles, rats, birds and other great survivors in nature.

Addiction to the present version of you

The resistance does not like new things. Like how a small child wishes to hear the same bed time story each day, it strives for comfort and loves situations of status quo. For the reptile, known pain and familiar misery is far more satisfying than unknown future happiness. 

The problem is, in a hyper novel world where constant change and adaptation is the only way to survive, this parts of our system is in fact dragging us down, holding us back and makes sure we stay in a perpetual state of gray blend overprotected mediocrity. 

Every day, your mind is under siege.

The resistance achieves this dominance over you, by firing a relentless stream of pre-recorded messages, looping your past into your present mind, creating the illusion of reality. It keeps you locked in a cycle, reacting blindly, stuck in a version of yourself that is outdated and maybe hopelessly broken and dysfunctional.

For the resistance it does not matter. As long as you stay in the comfort zone! 

Breaking Free form grip of the reptile

Imagine your mind as your mental home. Did you really choose the furniture in there? The artwork? The strange stains on the carpets? No—you inherited it.

Other people, a frustrated middle school teacher, A partner that hated you, or a confused parent trying their best, they all dumped of some of their dirty old thoughts and dogmas on you, Sometimes, decades ago, and you keep it around, because no one told you you have the right to furnish your own damn home as you want!

You sit there, with is barely space to move or even breathe, to the constant ringing of the pre recorded nonsense from the resistance in the background. But it is kinda comforting because it is well known. 

What if you could replace every single item

A piece of furniture in your inner space can be the fear of strangers, negative thoughts about money, a smoking habit, some specific way you procrastinate when you should be doing your work or how you doom scroll when you are nervous, to just give some examples. 

The reason we fail at making changes in their lives is that it is near impossible to just stop something that has become a part of our life. You have to replace it with something better!

A smoking habit for example, is maybe bad for you, but it still gives you some payoff. A cigarette is in some environments one of the few valid reasons to take a break. A moment of guilty pleasure just for you or something to look forward to and so on. The resistance absolutely love an addictive behaviour, since it is really regarded as self love by our prehistoric instinctual brain circuits! Trying to resist with white knuckles will only fail, 100% of the time. 

Learning how to hate what is bad for you!

Quitting for real starts with you, getting willing to learn all there is to know about how destructive your current habit is. It means taking in new information about the horrors of lung cancer and nicotine dependency in the case of smoking. You need to start teaching that lazy bastard inside of your head a thing or two about the dangers of your current lifestyle. 

Replace the old with a something awesome

The next step is to replace it with something better. Just stirring up anger about your current behaviour is not enough to cause change. If you only try to stop, the habit will come back because you leave a vacuum that the resistance can not accept. 

In combination you also have to show a better way into the future. You have to come up with positive and creative ways of filling all the needs you got met by the destructive behaviors by and your new way of being. You need a vision, some goals and new ways of acting that is genuinely more satisfying and fulfilling for you than the old. 

Powerful as it is, the resistance are only really patiently waiting for you to take charge and show a new direction. Like your new puppy the resistance are looking and longing to get the direction from its master!  

The art of programming your brain

You can kick out these old, parasitic thoughts and replace them with new ones. You can decide what to think. You can press record and reprogram your mind. But, you must be willing to take conscious control of the steering wheel and see though the illusion presented by the resistance. 

Let it sink in.

Realize how deep this internal corruption goes. Imagine the most parts of “who you think you are” and most of your current reality is not even you. It is just old propaganda repeated so often that you call it the “world”.

Imagine what parts of you is built on this kind of internal lies and self deception:

• Your whole sense of self?
• How you talk to yourself when there is no one around?
• How you carry yourself in public?
• How you lash out to people you think are against you?
• What you do at work?
• How you waste time, money and resources?
• The list could be long…

Shopping for new thoughts

What strikes me on a daily basis, in my self and in my role as a Masculinity coach is how deep these old bullshit thoughts go. It often takes several sessions to get a new client to realize that he is stuck in second gear, playing with half his deck of cards, running on flat tires and fractions of his full potential. 

You have to get new information into the system. A mind that only can come up with disempowering questions can not come up with empowering answers. 

What about make you own damn mind up!

You have to go active looking for new thoughts to have. You have to get curious about the whole array of thoughts and beliefs you could possess and start choosing carefully. 

Even better, start crafting your own thoughts by piecing together your own ideas with thinking by Stoic philosophers, modern thinkers and inspiration from people you admire. You are allowed to embody a cool visions about who you would like to love to live in the future with bold visions and goals for yourself. 

How does a unique though even sound!

You know your thought is uniquely yours when it goes something like this:

“I want X for myself in the future, There for I am willing to give up Y and starting to do Z. And you mean it.”

Getting inspired and taking the determination to change your thinking is not all. Now you have to make it stick as a solid belief when your resistance is doing everything in its power to drag you, kicking and screaming, back  to the good old ways! 

Affirmations – How to make your new thoughts stick 

Say hello to affirmations. Your new companion. I hope you will have a good time together since you are going to spend every waking hour together. Better get acquainted!

You see, in all its might of speed and agility the resistance has one weakness, an achilles heal you might say. It is that it can not distinguish fact from fiction and it can only run what it already know and repeat the same well practiced routines over and over. 

So, if you, are willing to repeat, your new thoughts enough times a day for long enough period of time, the resistance will simply accept this as the new reality. Your efforts are also re-inforced by any good experience you might have with the new thinking. 

As you reprogram your old mental script, something incredible happens: your Resistance becomes your ally. The reptilian brain that once held you back begins holding you accountable. Instead of sabotaging you, it ensures that you stick to your new identity!

Press record and overwrite the loop, Here is how you get started already today! 

Step 1: The Art of Thought Selection

Ask yourself: Is this behavior helping me? Is this thought truly mine? If not, be willing to replace it. Decide what thoughts deserve to occupy your mind in its place. Be very clear, it helps to write the new thoughts down in your phone or on a piece of paper and carry it with you. 

Step 2: Affirm Your New Reality

Start feeding your mind with this new ideas by simply repeating them. This is called “affirmations” and might feel extremely awkward in the beginning. But, as the resistance can not defend itself from you flooding the system by speaking over its message you will start recording information into the files of the resistance.

You simply repeat to yourself, the new lines that you wish to shape your reality. If you don’t let yourself be intimidated by the cries of your old beliefs dying, you will become stronger and reinforce your mind with a strong and bold new version of yourself.

Here is some of my best ones to start with:

• “I am now completely happy and content with my life, and every day I become even happier.”
• “Everything always works out for me in the end. I never need to worry—I am carried forward by the forces that created me.”
• “I enter every room with confidence, shoulders back, a smile on my face, and I always meet new friends who wish me well.”

Repeat these messages constantly. Let them ring in your mind like a battle cry. You can also use Voice Recording on your phone to be able to re-play it in your ear buds on repeat.

This is your new healthy mind diet. Listen breakfast lunch and dinner. And then a few times in between. 

Step 3: Add time

Your affirmations should go on long enough to become your everyday mantra. It is said that a new habit takes 21 days to solidify, I have no idea where this number even came from, but three weeks seems to be consistent with my own experience. 

So, give it a month or two! And then continue for the rest of your life for good measure.

Step 3: Shape Your Own and Independent Thinking

You know that you are succeeding when your new thoughts are being properly projected in your mind by the resistance. But, there is no time to rest, now you need to continue striving towards the light and make it a little bit more challenging to keep the pace up!

As you become a master at affirming your future goodness you need to combine it with your unique mission in life. Unique thoughts are not something that happens by accident. You must actively create them.

Use your imagination. Look into the future and visualize a life beyond your limitations. Then, turn those visions into affirmations, pressing record, and tirelessly affirm the new reality you are constructing.

In the First rule of men, we often find ourselves encouraging men to think bigger. The natural tendency is to only ask for what we know we can get. But, if your goals not scare you a little bit they are not big enough!

Your vision needs to be profound enough to make you excited, but not so delusional and grandiose so they are practically outside of objective reality.

Step 4: The Will of Steel

With the resistance suddenly on your side, life becomes much more fun and effortless. Imagine, your own well crafted thoughts, your own believes about a brighter future and positive habits re inforced automatically every day. Your resistance is now showing up like room service every day to serve you today’s paper filled with articles about how awesome you are! 

A will of steel isn’t something you’re born with—it’s a system.

It’s the result of well-recorded internal messaging, reinforced by real-world success. The more you program winning messages into your mind, the more they manifest into reality. What you tell yourself is what you become.

Step 5: Gratitude as a Superpower

Most men sleepwalk through life, blind to the victories they’ve already achieved. They only see what remains undone, fueling frustration and self-doubt. Gratitude is the antidote.

Before bed, ask yourself and your partner: What am I thankful for today? Write it down. Make it a sacred ritual.

When you speak with others, notice their efforts and acknowledge them. Tell them: “You really worked hard for that—I admire it.” Celebrate their struggles and victories. This creates unbreakable bonds.

Step 6: Community

It is said in AA, Alcoholics Anonymous, That, “A lonely alcoholic is in bad company”. There is no coincidence that the 12:th and final step in recovery is to help another alcoholic. Basically, if you are a person without a community of like minded people, who wish the best for you, the addiction will probably get you in the end.

In the First rule of men, we are talking about “moving mountains” together with other men. We believe that this is the foundation of male friendship. Men who suffer together, taking responsibility for each others development and hold each others up to high standards are the best support you can have as a man on your journey in life. 

So, As soon as you changed your thinking. It is your turn to help someone see beyond the distorted version of the world kreated by the resistance. This will not only help them, it is going to also prevent you from ever having to go back!

Share this article with someone who you think might get some value out of its message! It might save someone’s day and it referrals like this that keeps our program alive. 

Now it is your turn

You now have a choice. Remain a victim of The Resistance—or take control. The old repulsive thoughts that are currently shaping your world is probably not even the result of your own thinking. Now you can see through the lies. Now you know that you are the architect.

Let us know in the comments what kind of thoughts you go shopping for, how did you use affirmations to enrich your life! Which results did you get?

Join the movement and get all the protocols for masculinity? 

Most men struggle alone. But you don’t have to. At The First Rule of Men, we have built a protocol for men who refuse to be controlled by their past.

We coach you in rewriting your mental script, reclaiming your power, and stepping into the strongest version of yourself.

🔥 Do you want more confidence, power, and control over your mind?
🔥 Are you tired of feeling stuck in the same thought loops, never breaking free?
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Your future is masculine – Your future starts now!